Planet Fitness Slogan Adjusted to Read “Judgement Zone”

Picture taken moments before members began to notice the slogan change.

BATTLETON—It was a dark day even for Battleton standards as hoodlums vandalized their local gym’s tagline, sources confirmed Friday. And gym members reportedly took the new catchphrase to heart early the next morning.

A hostile transformation quickly overtook the members as they became extremely rude towards one another, judging everything, and everyone, around them. Once a group of polite and rather shy exercisers, they were now reduced to calling each other playground names like, “fat,” “ugly,” and even, “weak, stupid idiot.”

Several reports indicated that it was as if they needed their judgmental demons to be exorcised from their very souls. Since the staff did not wish to ask all of their members to collectively leave the premises, it wasn’t long before licensed exorcists were called to the scene. Their desperate efforts to exorcise demons from the exercisers were unsuccessful, however, as the insults and jeers did not slow until three of the four rolls of toilet paper rolled gently off the sign.

Now a “Judgement ree Zone,” the members reportedly took to crawling around on hands and knees, snorting like pigs. Sources confirm that “REEEEEE,” continues to be the sound most commonly used.

The Battleton Babbler