Opinion: Operas Are Stupid
Written By Barry Gooseberry
Me and my class have to put on a play. It was going to be The Phantom of the Opera, but then Monteray took it over and now it’s called The Apparition of the Compository or something stupid. He says it’s like The Phantom of the Opera in space. Like a space opera. But I don’t care if it’s in space or not. Because operas are stupid either way.
The reason is simple. They have songs. Singing is lame. I don’t even like singing in movies. Encanto sucks. Frozen sucks. Hamilton sucks. I’m not sure if that one counts as a movie or a play though. My mom was watching it on Netflix. I guess that means it’s a movie.
Gertrude says Queen is rock opera. That made me so mad, I almost slap-shotted my eraser with my hand. It’s not rock opera, it’s rock n’ roll! They play their songs at my hockey games and it gets us charged up. WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU! and WEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS are the two greatest songs of all time. I hate it when stupid Gertrude tells me lies about Queen. She’s so stupid.
Operas are also bunk because they’re not over before the fat lady sings. You can keep your fat ladies. I like skinny ladies. Gertrude will be a fat lady someday. Maybe that’s why she likes operas. Hahah.
And that’s why operas are stupid.
The Honker (Scarborough School Paper)
