A Transylvanian exchange student new to Monteray’s chaotic class. Sassy and witty, Vanessa doesn’t take much seriously until things get so serious around her that she has to take charge.
As goth as she is not goth, she’s the yin to her own yang.
Vanessa wants to something comedy-related someday, though she couldn’t say what exactly. Of course, she could always follow in her mother’s footsteps and become an actual monster hunter.
“At least his BRAIN is ripped. Yours is probably on life support!”
First Appearance:
Cheese Screams Book #1: The Curse of the Mighty Angus, Part 1
Hates popular teenagers. With a tragic backstory that would even make a scarecrow weep, his only goal in life is to kill as many popular teens as he can. Particularly football players and cheerleaders.
Cornstalk’s weapon of choice is a pitchfork to the point that if he misplaces it, he will immediately abandon his goal of killing in order to locate it, no matter how close he was to obtaining his deadly goal.
“POP goes the weasel!”
First Appearance:
Dodgy Pitch Book #1: Popularity is Fleeing
The (self-proclaimed) bravest kid in Scarborough Village, Toronto. Despite this, Monteray is prone to shriek like a rabid chimp when startled.
A likely side effect of not getting enough sleep, he is often quite grumpy.
Monteray’s a huge fan of the horror genre. He writes horror scripts in his spare time (and during class), vying to be the next Stephen King someday. (Though he doesn’t give a crap about politics, so good luck to him on that one.)
“Holy Frickenstein!”
First Apperance:
Cheese Screams Book #1: The Curse of the Mighty Angus, Part 1
BATTLETON—It was a dark day even for Battleton standards as hoodlums vandalized their local gym’s tagline, sources confirmed Friday. And gym members reportedly took the new catchphrase to heart early the next morning. According to sources, a hostile transformation quickly overtook the members as they became extremely rude towards one another, judging everything, and everyone, around them. Once a group of polite and rather shy exercisers, they were now reduced to calling each other playground names like “fat,” “ugly” and even “stupid.” Several reports indicated that it was as if they needed super judgmental demons to be exorcised from their very souls. It wasn’t long before licensed exorcists were called to the scene, as the staff did not wish to ask all of their members to collectively leave the premises. Their desperate efforts were not successful, however, and the insults and jeers did not slow down until three rolls of toilet paper rolled gently off the sign. Now reading Judgement ree Zone, the gym members reportedly took to crawling around haphazardly, snorting pig noises. Sources confirm that “REEEEEE,” continues to be the most commonly used.
The Battleton Babbler
